Death to the Nazi Invader
"Miss! MISS! There's a lion in the classroom! MISS!"
Actually, it wasn't a lion, it was a wasp. But judging from the reaction I got from the teenagers whom I used to teach, it might just have well have been a lion. Lots of panic. Lots of flapping about, all designed to create the maximum possible disruption to the lesson.
But me, I'm generally calm with wasps. I either catch them and put them out of the window, or I attack them viciously with a rolled-up magazine, shouting "Death to the Nazi Invader!" This is what the Communist used to shout: I'm not sure why, but it's very cathartic.
Last night, standing in the lounge, I felt something land on my eye. I had no idea what, or where it had come from, but instinctively I immediately reached up to find out what it was. I couldn't work it out - - something furry - - -
Then it stung me, right on the end of my middle finger. Actually, this was a good thing - I had crushed the wasp against my finger, which is why it stung me - but I could equally well have squashed it against my eye, in which case it would have stung my eyelid - -- nooooooo!
It hurt. A LOT. Olli said I missed a glorious opportunity to have a good loud scream, but I think I gasped instead. It hurt so much that for a few moments I couldn't work out what I needed to do about it. Then I remembered that there was some antihistamine cream upstairs (I'm a pharmacist's daughter, of course) and also some antihistamine tablets - - though in my new pain-filled world I found myself wondering whether the ones which don't cause drowsiness would work or not. Stephen meanwhile was looking on t'interclacker for remedies.
I put the cream on and swallowed the tablet. Because I'd been stung right on the end of my finger, all the poison was concentrated and my finger swelled up hugely and impressively. I was intrigued by the fact that the ends of both fingers next to it were hurting too - - clearly they weren't affected, but I think it's just that my brain couldn't work out exactly where the pain was coming from.
I just wandered round saying "OWWWWWWWWW!" for the next few hours until it got a bit better.
I know I have a high pain threshold - I was often told this when I was in hospital. But it really did hurt. It's nearly twenty years since I was last stung by a wasp, and I think I'd forgotten how bad it can be.
I feel lucky though, in a way. If it had stung me on the eye it could have been so very much worse.
Olli and Gareth's friend David is coming on Tuesday to remove the wasps' nest that's in the eaves of our house.
Thus perish all my enemies.
Actually, it wasn't a lion, it was a wasp. But judging from the reaction I got from the teenagers whom I used to teach, it might just have well have been a lion. Lots of panic. Lots of flapping about, all designed to create the maximum possible disruption to the lesson.
But me, I'm generally calm with wasps. I either catch them and put them out of the window, or I attack them viciously with a rolled-up magazine, shouting "Death to the Nazi Invader!" This is what the Communist used to shout: I'm not sure why, but it's very cathartic.
Last night, standing in the lounge, I felt something land on my eye. I had no idea what, or where it had come from, but instinctively I immediately reached up to find out what it was. I couldn't work it out - - something furry - - -
Then it stung me, right on the end of my middle finger. Actually, this was a good thing - I had crushed the wasp against my finger, which is why it stung me - but I could equally well have squashed it against my eye, in which case it would have stung my eyelid - -- nooooooo!
It hurt. A LOT. Olli said I missed a glorious opportunity to have a good loud scream, but I think I gasped instead. It hurt so much that for a few moments I couldn't work out what I needed to do about it. Then I remembered that there was some antihistamine cream upstairs (I'm a pharmacist's daughter, of course) and also some antihistamine tablets - - though in my new pain-filled world I found myself wondering whether the ones which don't cause drowsiness would work or not. Stephen meanwhile was looking on t'interclacker for remedies.
I put the cream on and swallowed the tablet. Because I'd been stung right on the end of my finger, all the poison was concentrated and my finger swelled up hugely and impressively. I was intrigued by the fact that the ends of both fingers next to it were hurting too - - clearly they weren't affected, but I think it's just that my brain couldn't work out exactly where the pain was coming from.
I just wandered round saying "OWWWWWWWWW!" for the next few hours until it got a bit better.
I know I have a high pain threshold - I was often told this when I was in hospital. But it really did hurt. It's nearly twenty years since I was last stung by a wasp, and I think I'd forgotten how bad it can be.
I feel lucky though, in a way. If it had stung me on the eye it could have been so very much worse.
Olli and Gareth's friend David is coming on Tuesday to remove the wasps' nest that's in the eaves of our house.
Thus perish all my enemies.
posted by Daphne at 4:42 pm
5 Comments:
As I mentioned on twitter - a freshly cut onion really does work. I remember this from primary school days of all things!
My brother is allergic to wasp/bee stings (anaphylactic shock). I am not, thankfully. He was stuck on the neck many years ago and his entire face/head swelled up - was horrendous. Had to be taken to A&E.
For ordinary reactions to wasp stings, do try a chopped onion.
stuck = stung
Perhaps an ambulance should have been called for or maybe a paramedic with flashing blue lights...that wasp could have been saved! As you can see from their little jumpers, all wasps are miniature Hull City supporters.
Milo - thank you - I'll remember that onion remedy, it sounds well worth a try.
YP - so THAT's why your little Hull City supporter was so vicious to this denizen of Leeds!
I got stung by a bald faced hornet once. I said things over and over but it wasn't ow ow ow!!!!
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