They Just Stand There
In Morecambe Bay sheep graze on the grass at low tide. At high tide, the sea comes in incredibly fast and covers the grass. On television I saw an interview with a farmer who was asked if the sheep ran from the approaching sea.
Horses, too, just stand there, sometimes. Emily and Gareth went riding one day and while the horses were waiting to be ridden they were in a huge barn. From the barn came the sound of near-complete silence. Closer investigation showed about fifteen horses, all motionless, like a still photograph. Here are some of them:
Totally still, totally silent. What, I wondered, were they thinking? Why didn't they wander round and communicate with each other? If horses have Powersaver Mode, this lot were most certainly in it.
Cows don't seem to stand stock still very often - if they do, it's because they're chewing the cud. If cows have any thoughts they seem to be along the lines of "Now what's THAT?" We walked past a field of cows one evening. We looked at them, and, as one cow, they all advanced to look at us, until they were peering over the gate in astonishment.
So, which of these are the Einsteins of farm animals and which the Bear of Little Brain? Instinct - yes, these awards are completely science-free - tells me that the results are as follows:
In ascending order:
THIRD: SHEEP
You can't train sheep and they don't seem to learn things much. Their motto, embroidered on every fleece, is "Keep Together". If you could hear sheep muttering to each other, you would hear them saying "Keep together. Eat grass. Keep together. Eat grass."
SECOND: COWS
Cows seem a bit brainier than sheep and they can at least learn the way back to the cowshed. They have a lot of natural curiosity but I'm not sure what it's for, because in many millennia of evolution they have failed to produce even one significant invention. I like the milk, though.
FIRST: HORSES
Mankind has always had a close relationship with horses so we like to think they must be clever. They do look cleverer than cows, but then again, most things do. Horses have big brown eyes which seem to suggest they're thinking deep thoughts, but they're probably not. However, I admire their ability, when things are dull, to put themselves on Standby and switch off, and I wish I could do it sometimes. So they win first prize.
We also passed a field of alpacas. I was slightly confused to find these in Cumbria and can make no comments as to their supposed intelligence or lack of it. Apologies.
"No," he said gloomily. "You have to round them up. They don't run. They just stand there."
That's sheep for you. They don't seem very good at decision-making. Here are some rather picturesque sheep which I spotted near Ullswater in the Lake District last week.
Horses, too, just stand there, sometimes. Emily and Gareth went riding one day and while the horses were waiting to be ridden they were in a huge barn. From the barn came the sound of near-complete silence. Closer investigation showed about fifteen horses, all motionless, like a still photograph. Here are some of them:Totally still, totally silent. What, I wondered, were they thinking? Why didn't they wander round and communicate with each other? If horses have Powersaver Mode, this lot were most certainly in it.Cows don't seem to stand stock still very often - if they do, it's because they're chewing the cud. If cows have any thoughts they seem to be along the lines of "Now what's THAT?" We walked past a field of cows one evening. We looked at them, and, as one cow, they all advanced to look at us, until they were peering over the gate in astonishment.
So, which of these are the Einsteins of farm animals and which the Bear of Little Brain? Instinct - yes, these awards are completely science-free - tells me that the results are as follows:
In ascending order:
THIRD: SHEEP
You can't train sheep and they don't seem to learn things much. Their motto, embroidered on every fleece, is "Keep Together". If you could hear sheep muttering to each other, you would hear them saying "Keep together. Eat grass. Keep together. Eat grass."
SECOND: COWS
Cows seem a bit brainier than sheep and they can at least learn the way back to the cowshed. They have a lot of natural curiosity but I'm not sure what it's for, because in many millennia of evolution they have failed to produce even one significant invention. I like the milk, though.
FIRST: HORSES
Mankind has always had a close relationship with horses so we like to think they must be clever. They do look cleverer than cows, but then again, most things do. Horses have big brown eyes which seem to suggest they're thinking deep thoughts, but they're probably not. However, I admire their ability, when things are dull, to put themselves on Standby and switch off, and I wish I could do it sometimes. So they win first prize.
We also passed a field of alpacas. I was slightly confused to find these in Cumbria and can make no comments as to their supposed intelligence or lack of it. Apologies.
posted by Daphne at 8:45 pm
2 Comments:
I've long held a theory that sheep are just pretending to be stupid. It's an act they put on for us humans and they are really a highly organised crack undercover unit. Have you noticed how you often spot a single sheep at the side of the road? That's the lookout who then communicates back to the squad (or flock as we like to call them) to tell them to act natural (or stupid as we like to call it). Once when I was very young we came up behind a group of four sheep in the road in front of our car - two quite big lambs between two adult sheep. The lambs hadn't been properly trained yet and displayed great intelligence trying to get out of the way of my dad's car by bouncing off the adult sheep who maintained their cover by insisting on running forwards and not moving off the road. I think this just proves my theory. Or maybe not.
Sheep not intelligent ?? WHAT !!!
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you (drum roll).....Shaun The Sheep.
The defence rests.
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