1984 - part two
After my waters broke I was in hospital for seven days without, apparently, anything happening. The most likely thing was that I would go into premature labour.
"You'll probably be all right. Your baby probably won't," someone said, and I was at least grateful to be told something, even if it was bad news, because mostly they didn't tell me anything. I didn't know the job or rank of any of the staff because I had not been in hospital for years, and then only briefly, and there didn't seem to be any way of finding out.
Not knowing what to do with me, they put me in a side ward and, it seemed to me, forgot about me. I wasn't allowed to get out of bed and frequently they forgot to bring me meals: but I didn't really care, I was too anxious to eat.
What did bother me was the window, which would neither open nor shut. So it remained open a tiny crack. I asked it it would open more, to let in some fresh air.
"No," I was told, "it won't, in case you try to throw yourself out."
I tried to explain that the fact that I was in a stuffy room with a window that wouldn't open made me want to throw myself out. She made no comment.
Because the window would neither open nor shut, a tiny draught came in through it, just enough to make the door bang if the door was not properly shut. And hardly anyone shut it, they just pulled it to. And I was expressly forbidden to get out of bed.
Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
Eventually I could stand it no more and rang the bell.
Someone finally came.
"Sorry to bother you, but please could you shut the door?"
Wrong approach. Look of total who-does-she-think-she-is contempt.
"I'm not supposed to get out of bed, and the door bangs, because the window won't shut."
"I'll shut the window then."
She tried to shut the window. It didn't shut.
"Well, I've done my best with it."
"Actually, it's not that I want the window shut. It's that I want the door shut. So it doesn't bang."
She glared at me.
"Well, I've shut the window. That should do it. And now I must get on."
She pulled the door to, and she was gone.
Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
If I'm ever in Hell, I'll be back in that room.
"You'll probably be all right. Your baby probably won't," someone said, and I was at least grateful to be told something, even if it was bad news, because mostly they didn't tell me anything. I didn't know the job or rank of any of the staff because I had not been in hospital for years, and then only briefly, and there didn't seem to be any way of finding out.
Not knowing what to do with me, they put me in a side ward and, it seemed to me, forgot about me. I wasn't allowed to get out of bed and frequently they forgot to bring me meals: but I didn't really care, I was too anxious to eat.
What did bother me was the window, which would neither open nor shut. So it remained open a tiny crack. I asked it it would open more, to let in some fresh air.
"No," I was told, "it won't, in case you try to throw yourself out."
I tried to explain that the fact that I was in a stuffy room with a window that wouldn't open made me want to throw myself out. She made no comment.
Because the window would neither open nor shut, a tiny draught came in through it, just enough to make the door bang if the door was not properly shut. And hardly anyone shut it, they just pulled it to. And I was expressly forbidden to get out of bed.
Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
Eventually I could stand it no more and rang the bell.
Someone finally came.
"Sorry to bother you, but please could you shut the door?"
Wrong approach. Look of total who-does-she-think-she-is contempt.
"I'm not supposed to get out of bed, and the door bangs, because the window won't shut."
"I'll shut the window then."
She tried to shut the window. It didn't shut.
"Well, I've done my best with it."
"Actually, it's not that I want the window shut. It's that I want the door shut. So it doesn't bang."
She glared at me.
"Well, I've shut the window. That should do it. And now I must get on."
She pulled the door to, and she was gone.
Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
If I'm ever in Hell, I'll be back in that room.
posted by Daphne at 5:02 pm
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